Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Episode 35- Stop Breastfeeding and You Will Get Better

I have to preface this by saying that people are morons. And more specific, a lot of psychiatrists are morons. Big ones. Big fat turd morons. Not to say that they all are because I am sure that somewhere in this world there are some good psychiatrists. But I have yet to meet one.

I nursed Hailey. I nursed her from the moment I finally met her. I have had great luck with all of my babies in that they have never had problems nursing. Yes I was on so many medications I can't list them all. But most of them didn't go into my milk so it was okay. I nursed her and I loved it. During out nursing sessions I felt calm, peaceful, and a little happy. I cherished those moments because when I wasn't nursing, I felt crazy.

When Hailey was almost five weeks old, I went for a session with Dr. Neuman. Did I mention that psychiatrists were morons? This guy took the cake. He should have gotten an award. He told me that a huge part of my problem was that I was nursing. Everyone told me that my problem was hormonal. Really? Is that right? Then how come all of my hormones were normal? How come all of my blood work always came back to show that there was in fact no chemical irregularities? Right. But still, people said it was hormonal. I had a "chemical" imbalance.

Dr. Neuman told me that the only way I would get better is if I reset my hormonal clock. Breastfeeding was throwing things far out of wack so I needed to stop. And you know what? I listened to him. I recall with clarity what it was like when I got home that day and told Cody that Neuman told me to stop nursing. I remember the anguish I felt. I remember the pain in my chest as I thought of giving up the one and only thing that made me feel connected to my baby. It was the only thing that made me happy, and I was going to give it up. Tell me, where is the sense in that?

So I said goodbye to those cherished nursing sessions. Hailey began formula and I went downhill from there. Instead of getting better, I got worse. And knowing what I know now about the importance of breastfeeding, it fills me with rage when I think that I gave it up. I am angry that medically trained professionals advised me to stop it. I remember the day that my milk dried up in the psych hospital. I was devastated. I cried for an entire day. There was no going back.

I have since started a blog devoted to breastfeeding issues. It is my hope and prayer that I can save another mother from going down that un-necessary road of bottle feeding. In the past four years I have educated myself as much as I can on the benefits of breastfeeding for both the mother AND baby. You can follow that blog here.

5 comments:

Mike and Jenny said...

I was unable to nurse my first two babies and though it was sad to say the least I didn't really get too upset after I made my decision. I just moved forward. I was lucky enough to nurse my third and I LOVED it. I can't not imagine anything else as I am pregnant with number four. The bond between me and my third is so strong that it breaks my heart that I didn't get that with my first two!!

Hilary said...

Pediatricians aren't much better, surprisingly! Our doctor 'encouraged' me to start giving my 4 month old formula because he felt she wasn't gaining fast enough (she'd more than doubled her birth weight by more than 2 lbs). I knew she was healthy, ignored the suggestion (knowing that if wanted her to be eating more, than supplementing would only keep decreasing my milk supply until there was none left and she was exclusively formula fed. And it's not like he was offering to pay for that!), and she's such a healthy, happy kid.
I really resented nursing with my first at times -- she was super colicky, never slept, and the only thing that calmed her down was nursing, and I got so frustrated I was nursing for 45 minutes every 2 hours. Once things calmed down though, I realized how much it had helped me get through such a hard time. I was so sleep deprived and frustrated, and what kept me going was these frequent, long forced rest periods, and all the relaxing hormones that come with breastfeeding. I'm convinced that if she hadn't insisted on breastfeeding so much, I would've been trying to 'do' so much more with that time, and I would've been more exhausted! I was able to look back on it as a huge blessing that she was such a long, avid nurser. :-)

Lyns said...

I would just like to say this blog is like crack! I check it every day...

Valerie said...

I know that in some cases, some moms that are unable to breastfeed for whatever reason will make themselves feel so obsessed and out of control about it that it would help if they would move past it and do formula. It's insane!

Having said that, when a mom is successfully breastfeeding, no one on the planet should encourage her to stop! Eeek! Sad...


And like the pp, I am also hooked and check this blog every day. :)

Amy said...

This makes me so super sad! I too check this often as I have had some medication issues in the past. Stupid doctors!!!!!!