Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Episode 7- The Release

There are million details about my hospital saga that I'm leaving out because it is so long and so depressing. I had mixed feelings about my release. I was so excited to get back my little boy, but I was terrified of being on my own again. Aside from what I'd learned from Chris, I had no tools other than a new collection of medication. There was still no solid explanation of my disorder. Upon release, you have to have a "support" system in place.

#1- You have to have friends and/or family to help you in a time of turmoil.

#2- You have to have a psychologist set up with an imminent appointment.

#3- You have to have a medical doctor who can prescribe you meds, preferably a psychiatrist.

I would continue seeing Schneiman. So far he had been the only doctor to help in any way. For my meds, Dr. Brown had been contacted and had a conference with my psychiatrist from the hospital. He agreed and felt comfortable handling my meds and my prenatal care from there on out.

In my discharge orders, the psychiatrist gave me prescriptions for the meds which I had been on during my lengthy stay. Trazadone, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanex. He only gave me a one month supply in my Rx. So I was to leave the hospital, fill my prescriptions, and never call them again. As soon as I walked through those doors I was on my own and they would wash their hands of me.

As I walked through the big electronic doors of the 4th floor, the doors which I had never been aloud to go near unless a doctor or nurse was with me, I felt so scared. What would happen in the real world? How would I handle things? What if I stopped sleeping again? My mind was cluttered with fears and concerns. I knew things would never be the same when I left there. Things seem permanently altered from what they had been weeks before.

4 comments:

Chambers Family said...

So...How long was your hospital stay? I would feel so weird without my kids. I was thinking that this would make a good ensign article to enlighten others!

Ute Family said...

You are one brave woman. I still can't believe that you went through all of that and overcame it!

Gina said...

Oh my gosh. I knew it was a bad experience, but I had NO idea how bad. I can't wait to read more. Thank you for sharing this.

Heidi Rogers said...

I hope I am not intruding, I got your blog from my friend Jylaire.I can relate in a small way, mine was not due to pregnancy. I was hospitialzed for eating disorder after the birth of my first child, and all they wanted to do was throw pills down my throat.I am so glad to hear that your on your way to a healthy recovery, I wish the best for you and I will keep reading.