Monday, September 8, 2008

Episode 11- The Refill

The time was drawing near to refill one of my prescriptions. I had been instructed upon discharge to consult with Dr. Brown (the OB) on all my prescription needs, so I called his office to have the nurse call in a new prescription to the pharmacy. When I spoke with the nurse, she asked me my name and date of birth. Then she said "I need to talk to the doctor and then I'll give you a call back." That made me feel uneasy, but I tried not to think anything of it until I heard back from her.

Later that afternoon I got a call from her and it flipped things upside down. Her end of the conversation went something like this-

"I talked to Dr. Brown about this issue, and he said that he's sorry but he can no longer keep you as a patient. You are too high risk for our clinic and he doesn't feel comfortable prescribing medications that are that risky to the baby. He wants you to see a perintaologist at the University Hospital instead."

The room was spinning as I absorbed her words. I did not understand! Why was he cutting me off as a patient? Was I that far gone that he had to wash his hands of me? Was the harm I was doing to my baby that big of a liability for him? WHAT HAD I DONE TO MY BABY?!?!?! The nurse gave me the phone number to the high risk clinic and that was that.

I got off the phone and collapsed into a puddle on the floor. Ethan was down for a nap and I was grateful that he didn't witness the episode. I tried to call Cody at work but he didn't answer. Then I called my wonderful friend, Brandi. She had been my rock from the moment I'd met her a few years before. Brandi and I were kindred spirits and we knew it from the start.

So I called her and I cried and cried, and she did the only thing she could do. She listened. She listened and she cried with me as we thought about the sudden turn my path had taken only a few weeks before. Why was this happening? What had I done to deserve this? All I wanted was to be a good wife and mom, and I wasn't able to be. All I wanted to do was grow a healthy baby and I wasn't even able to do that much. And now I didn't have a doctor who would touch me with a ten foot pole.

1 comment:

Julianna said...

Hi Veronica, I use to be in your ward until the split. I remember you bearing your testimony before and talking a little bit about what you had been through. I had no idea it was this bad. I'm sorry for what you have gone through but I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your journey. I can already tell that you are going to be an inspriation for many, many people. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

Julianna Wolfley